1998 B*Witched: To You I Belong

Like Aqua before them, B*Witched's third number one shifts its focus from the pure pop of previous to the more serious waters of a love ballad. 'Turn Back Time' though at least gave Lene Nystrømhad room to show her vocal prowess; on 'To You I Belong' lead Witch Edele Lynch's brute squawk of a voice is more cursed than blessed as it jerks its way around the melody line like a learner driver with no clutch control and a tankfull of kangaroo petrol. It's as torturous as its title; the noun/verb arrangement tries for a cheap plating of high brow sincerity the way a sixth form poet peppers their doggerel with 'thees' and 'thous', but the lazy nonsense of "Rain fell down, you were there. I cried for you when I hurt my hand" has all the class of grafitti on a lavatory wall. Paste in some generic stock footage of 'My Heart Will Go On' folky Irish bells and whistles and the result is a song I genuinely find unpleasant to listen to. "Beside the sea, when the waves broke, I drew a heart for you in the sand. In fields where streams turn to rivers, I ran to you, you were there" - my god, the only way is up from this mess.