1996 George Michael: Fastlove

From this recent spate of George Michael number ones, you'd be forgiven for thinking we were back in his eighties salad days again. And why not - Michael released enough dance tracks in that decade, 'Fastlove' is a dance track, so QED. Ah, but those eighties Wham! singles were very much school disco material whereas by his own album's admission Michael was now older and had a more sophisticated audience in his sights. And to ensure the target is hit, 'Fastlove' dispenses with the happy clappy disco bounce in favour of a no hooks designer swish that's all polished floor. But its jazzy glide is so hard and shiny that Michael struggles to find purchase, and even after five minutes of trying he never manages to stamp his own persona on his own song; 'George Michael' is in full (rather than the half of that cover) shadow and 'Fastlove' could be by anybody. It does what it sets out to do for sure, but it does it with an aloof anonymity and jazzy haughtiness that leaves barely a scent in its passing. And with an ice chip of functionality at its heart instead of a warm glow of engagement, 'Fastlove' fails to appeal.